yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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