i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
