I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize