Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
