Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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