He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize