Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
