God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
