Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
