So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
