i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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