the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
