You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
