If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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