just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
