someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
