I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
