I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
