ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
