I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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