You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
