he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh god it's open bar.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
