Me too!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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