Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
