How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
