so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
