I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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