You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
