I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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