oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
