atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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