Cold hands, warm shart.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
