what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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