Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
