I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
