don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
