I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
