i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
