he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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