Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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