I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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