The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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