its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I forget how to act sober
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