gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
