I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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