and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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