Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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