my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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