i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
