There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
