I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
