I want to have your abortion
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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