Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
