yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
