So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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