She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
