My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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