whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
