a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
