We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
