His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
