He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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