i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
