I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
