Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
